Awakening the Witness: A Journey Through Duality and Light

 I was named Cynthia. I have never had an attachment to a name. I knew it was a label since childhood. I came into this world aware and it has been a struggle. My mission was identified not by me, but by those outside of me. My mother, my deceased husband, my deceased brothers and many friends. They have stood around me waiting for me to wake up and step into my full power. I have very good friends (Thank you Amy) who have supported my journey into self realization. I want to write openly about what I know about this experience here on Earth.

I was sexually abused as a child. I was emotionally abused as well. Mentally, I was presented a different way of thinking. I was not raised Christian, or with any religion really. I later came to know many of the teachings as Gnostic and much of it was esoteric. As a child I was a torch bearer, part of the AMORC, the Rosicrucian order. To the world outside of me, this was deemed as evil, witchcraft, or "new age nonsense." I paid the price for my studies. Many things led to me being outcast. I have had a difficult path. Inwardly, I knew I was led by a higher power and from the beginning identified with that. Which is apparently why I was put into this group as a child. I was taught that I would one day teach about the process of consciousness. I didn't really even understand what that meant. I have endured a great deal of trauma I have had to work through in this cycle. Almost as if I had to experience the spectrum of evil to fully understand. I have unfortunately seen more evil than good in people in this current world. My higher self has observed it all. I have witnessed. 

I revealed my inner truths throughout my time and was ridiculed and brought into the mental health facilities here. I witnessed the treatments. I have witnessed the healthcare system. I have witnessed the school systems. I have witnessed the corporations. I have witnessed community, state and country. My judgement? It is a culmination of failings, corruptions and evil. My experiences derive from the witnessing. Because I had such a strong inner light guiding me, I became aware of the duality of nature here. Perhaps because of teachings also. I was taught we live in a mental universe. These ideas are embraced more so now. This is the reason I feel comfortable sharing my inner most truths. 

Along with the physical experiences here, I have had a dream world alongside. Further demonstrating a duality. I currently am diagnosed with insomnia and take sleeping aids, because if I don't, I do not sleep and can not function. I don't move into a state of deep rest that repairs my mind and body. I stay half alert. I am told this is because I have PTSD from abuse. Regardless, I have felt throughout my life the pain and agony of not being able to sleep deeply. Along with the surface sleep problems, such as apnea, I have extremely vivid and reoccurring dreams. I was told they were from PTSD and meant nothing. I  have been told a great deal from these outside institutions that have created a tremendous amount of doubt that I still struggle with today. People, lovingly and some not, refer to me as "crazy." Some view in a good way, others not. I finally freed myself from caring about which.

The reoccurring dreams are part of who I am. They have shown me much. I have started to document them in a creative way on my website. My existence here online, the matrix, is what I refer to as my Cosmic Book. This is my attempt towards working towards the good, the light and bearing my torch. I want to encourage others to "Become their own super hero" and save themselves. I realized that I was teaching about the process of consciousness. I then began to take my dreams and experiences a bit more serious. Ironically, it coincided with 2020 and the shift, the great awakening. 

Today is Decemeber 3rd. Spaceships were projected to appear in the sky today. I have dreamt of them. I am looking out my window now to see if an illusion will be revealed. In my dreams the ships were vast, but cloaked. Once unveiled, I realized they had been here the entire time. Invisible to the eye. In my dreams that understanding was soul shaking. They are not from space, they are inherent and part of this existence. This is why the ideas of this being a simulation has been recognized as of recent years. What is this? My dreams have given me a great deal of insight into this. I became aware of the Avatar, the biological of it and the higher self accessing it. These concepts are extremely difficult to understand without today's technological advancements. 

I can put this as plainly as possible as follows. It appears the body is the biological aspect of this greater awareness. But, we are stuck in that awareness only. Everything here is pushing that physical awareness only. The result is this disgusting amount of corruption and hypocrisy we are ALL witnessing now. To witness means to become aware. Many are becoming aware now and there is a lack of compassion for them. This is going to be a problem for those trying to "wake up" from this dark state. We want to view them as evil, and even see them suffer. I found myself doing this yesterday when I had a very strong reaction to Biden pardoning his son. Self reflection of this strong reaction brought me to the truth to be more gentle in my responses. I have become very divided of "Good and Evil" within my thinking. Working on evolving my understanding of what "Evil" means. 

Plainly, I feel as if the Matrix is actually the complete, online world. To actually exit it, to me, means disconnecting from it. That is considered ascending the material. To ascend the spiritual means to completely completely exit the material, live fully in Christ Consciousness. Good versus Evil, Christ consciousness versus Satan consciousness. Satan consciousness is that of living fully in the material, unaware or complete rejection of the Christ Consciousness. Do we have examples of that? Yes, by the very man who has claimed he is the devil. Diddy is serving as the figurehead, among others now as this consciousness. The terms I think I see in the collective for these states are Starseeds and Archons. I haven't done enough research to fully understand the terminology. Between these two states of awareness appears to be what is being referred to as NPCs. This is the gray area between the black and white. The area my boyfriend has been telling me to be aware of. 

Yesterday I saw a graphic on an X channel I follow called Exiting the Matrix. It was an image of a thief stealing light. Something about the graphic stirred me, in both ways. Thief felt so very negative, like taking what doesn't belong. Is that what was happening? I reflected deeply on my response to this image. My understanding unfolded as follows plainly: the inner compass is programmed toward Good or Bad in certain states. Prior to that they are neutral. It is true evolution. There is free will to choose. Most will navigate in this gray area. Some will go towards the dark, some towards the light. The fruit of the tree bears witness to the observer. Good apples, or bad apples. I choose good and am doing my best to give good fruits. I have brought my offerings to the table via my creations. I have worked to harness creative power to create positive as best I can. Some days, I do fail. I am not an Ascended being. I too am here in the gray area, navigating. I am in the Matrix, witnessing it and experiencing it. I am struggling here. The things I am currently struggling with is my physical form and emotional body. I am not sure I understand healing in those two states. Or, what it means to have them integrated into my spiritual. The triad is not united. Perhaps that very united Trinity will create Ascension into a Christ Consciousness. I don't have the answers for myself currently. But, I am seeking.

Along with the image of the thief that stirred me was a post regarding full remembrance. That also resonated deeply. I am not sure if it is irony, or duality, but I physically have a short term memory span that is very low. It also takes a bit to engage me. This is labeled as ADHD. I have witnessed the treatment of this characteristic. I am still trying to fully understand the dynamics of it. What I do remember are the dreams, very vivid experiences, and visions. I have dreamt of many deaths on Earth by catastrophic means. This has led me to observe the cycles here on Earth and be aware of them, physically. Pole shifts, and cataclysmic events. Is the DNA storing these memories? Are dreams memories? I have a lot of questions regarding this. 

My exploration has been demonstrated in my Cosmic Book, Chapter 1 - Fall to Chaos. This is the visual of the reoccurring dream I have had me entire life, up till the last few years coinciding with my brother's death and "the shift - or great awakening." I have not created Chapter 2 or moved forward with documenting my process in those terms in a bit. Things have been stewing in my brain, I have been busy witnessing the time. I have been witnessing corruption and evil. Falling from a light gray area, to a bit darker. My emotional state feeling depressed and angry. I need to unplug from the matrix to recharge. I need to disconnect and be in a creative and aligned state. I ordered some blank baubles to decorate for my Christmas tree. The other part of that process is sharing my personal feelings regarding this process. Hence why I document my experience in total here in the matrix. To be cliche, those who have eyes will see. I'm putting my pearls on my tree ad baubles and not throwing them before swine.