November 2024
Election day is two days away. I voted early to support Trump and the Republican Party. That weight is off my mind, but quickly became aware I needed to renew my DL very soon. An added stress. Lately it has felt like too much and nothing, all at once. There is this urgency flailing about, yet I have resolved to not engage. My urgency would be to focus on my experience right now. And how were things going during this time at home?
Saturday night was the last night of Haunt season. I honestly am in disbelief it is over. We are moving into the Christmas Holiday season. I have a new role, I'm helping to decorate, I just created a new holiday graphic design collection, I am working on Chapter 2 on my Cosmic Book. I'm getting things in order and cleaning the house. I feel good and safe. When I feel panic, I recognize the poking is coming directly from the material world. This has made me question what the spiritual is to me and what attachments do I have to the material?
The material world is screaming opposites to me. Renew your license, schedule doctor appointments, deal with financial stuff, figure out how to get groceries into the house and garbage out. The entire front area is completely torn up and parking on the street has gotten old, quick. I haven't let the cats out, they are stir crazy and I am cleaning the litter boxes at least twice a day. We had the added financial burden of the emergency vet bill we are still working on also. In these moments of wrestling with the anxiety over all these things, I realized it all was coming from one place, the material world. The matrix demanding my energy. I want to turn inward and not be a part of this chaos.
I have been experiencing major synchronicity these last few months. I had began to notice things I was saying, were manifesting. It made me uber aware of what I am saying mindlessly or on auto pilot. Then I noticed ads appearing for things I had only thought about. I realized there was something happening, corresponding directly, engaging. I am creating my reality. Is reality the algorithm? Is it all a mind matrix? Is the matrix just part of the mind? And it is all mental. It all started making more sense to me, then no sense to me. Why couldn't I create and do the things I love while balancing this material world? If it is all mental, what is the issue?
There was this post I saw on X, an account I follow, Exit the Matrix. Something within the messages resonated with me the strongest. It felt as if I was recognizing someone carrying a lantern in the dark, another bearer of the torch. It was an urgency about ascending and abandoning the mission. All of the posts I read that day on the political shite storm happening, Diddy cases going public, The Royal Family in trouble ... and that was the post that stuck. Why do I feel so disconnected from the drama that I should be caught up in. It has become something that I disconnected from like my family, friends, and my entire past. I was only focusing on my current situation, one moment at a time. How bizarre my external world, so extreme compared to my inner world. I realized in the moment I was standing in the haunt, behind bars, wearing a tinfoil hat, spewing conspiracy and insults, and still questioning that X post. How could abandon the mission and just ascend?
Duality came crashing into my mind. This right here, this is where I am. I have arrived at the nowpoint. This is the moment in the reoccurring dream that I have arrived at. I am in my space pod, assessing the damage, closing the doors and pressing the start button. This is the moment of full assessment. This is my mission. The things I love and hold dear keep me here. I see more beautiful things than war. These concepts have been what I have been trying to integrate into my Cosmic Book. Grounding myself enough to recognize that I am navigating the Spiritual and Material Realms. A demonstration of balance. In-Spirit.
What is the current assessment?
