Enhanced Integration
Yesterday, I had all kinds of emotions riding high in the sky and just pissing in the air. It culminated into me rant posting on X. I have no followers, so I feel like it is a corner of the world I can scream into kind of place. It's the only void I am reaching out in currently. Nothing I would regret, a very "I said what I said" space. Things I have thought relentlessly about, unspoken. I just felt like jumping into the digital riot lines and wildly wave my signs around. My brain was firing out bullet after bullet into the dark void. I didn't like it, but you know, there I said it moment. I had to get some control.
The fresh new morning brought an actual removal of the concrete parking lot. Right outside my front windows. The noise was not enjoyable or tolerable. The vet then called with an update. IO is doing great on his second day of hospitalization. He should be able to come home tomorrow. And at that moment the weight of everything just hit me. Jarred me like a metal scoop digging deep into asphalt and concrete, right outside my front window. I came downstairs and sat at my desk. I can do this. Internal pep talk. Come on, I have slain much larger giants in the past. I have been struggling with reopening my Etsy shop. This was a level of engagement I thought I could reincorporate. I cleared up a tremendous amount of mental energy during my tolerance break. I cleared my mind. I feel ready to integrate. I wiped my tears away and put my crown back on. I went to the dispensary.
Time slowed down, to the nowpoint. I got my head on straight. I'm focused. I feel in control of time. I am focused enough to engage. My creative energy has returned. I'm tuned in. I have had a soul cleansing. I'm ready to step into Chapter 2.
