The Jolt

 Yesterday was my first day on my month schedule generated by AI. It includes time blocks to work on chores, meals and projects. I am currently working on three projects, two writing, one graphic design. The writing project I am focusing on this month is researching reincarnation. The lack of resonance I have with my current understanding has led me to reevaluate everything I even know about the subject. It is vastly easier to research on AI. There aren't any ads, agendas (that are obvious) and seems somewhat level. My initial fear was using something completely programmed by humans lack of knowledge. Could it reason? Is that what scares everyone? Or, is it the access to all known data?

Within moments of researching this morning, I had access to information it would have probably taken me hours or days to accumulate. I could read all the data from the questions I had and formulate my ideas around the information. I agree with the hypothesis that cellular memory suggests that cells might retain memories or information from past experiences. Why did I feel so strongly pulled to this subject? 

This morning, while sitting at my desk, back bay doors open, I watch the beauty before me. I made a fire this morning in my chiminea base. I had my coffee by the fire as the sun rose. I watched the squirrels scurry around from branch to branch. I watched the way the sun began to light up dark areas in my ferns. My cats around me, lounging, taking it all in. I envied my cat, easily climbing the branches of the tree. The squirrel fussed at him and I laughed at their interaction. I then fell into a deep daydream watching out the doors. I snapped back to reality when I heard a noise, a branch falling. Was this a lucid dream? Or was I tapping into something more? Where was I? All the times I felt jolted from this connection triggered something inside me. 

The images of a young asian boy, carrying water buckets, balanced on the ends of a stick carrying across his back. He gazes into foliage and gets lost for a moment. Snap snap! "Chop wood, carry water!" The world crashes in with its demands. The jolt, the distinct drop from blissful connection into chaos is felt deep into my gut. How many times in my own life have fingers snapped at me to disconnect from my stream of peace? I feel resentment in that area of my heart if I am honest. It correlates with the feelings of control over my being. Forcing me to put my attention on what is demanded at that moment, whether the realization of a fallen branch, or someone telling me to bring the water NOW! Was this creative thought? A cellular memory? My imagination? A lucid dream? A trance or divine connection filling me with peace? 

Everything is speculative and has no empirical science behind it, until it does. What is empirical science compared to my internal feeling? Does it mean to put my beliefs outside of myself? Trust what outside and not inside? Isn't that that being unauthentic to the true nature? Because when the jolt happens, the truth of my feeling, my response and resonance is that I was peaceful there. I am not peaceful with fingers snapping or hands clapping in my face, voices barking orders to serve them in some sort of way. Agenda becomes obvious to me in that light.