The Value

 Values have risen questions within me. We are still cleaning up the aftermath of storms that ripped through our area. A great deal of damage was done, but we were spared. We do however, have several trees leaning against our building, threatening our safety. It comes down to the value of money over people's lives, even property you are responsible for. It made me question my values. I value my peace and happiness over money. It is very simple. Some value relationships, lust, and greed more. Knowing my values has helped me approach the recent aftermath. 

I began to ponder how much the world was reflecting it's values to me and the people around me. I see the same cycles. My mother chose chaos and abuse over her children. I learned pretty early I was of no value and my self esteem from that took decades to recover. The last bits of repair came in the most recent days when I realized, money is valued over me, dysfunctional relationships are valued over me. Why am I handing over my value? Especially when I value peace more. The choice is simple, I choose me. Something I can't expect anyone to do for me. I questioned deeper what choosing me meant.

Choosing to value me isn't easy. I am saying, I value me more than you, but I don't expect any less from you. However, if you value money over my well being or safety, then all bets are off. That feeling that has been bubbling up is the slight I feel lately from the total disrespect for anything around most people. The lack of respect for each other, animals, nature, anything other than serving their agenda. People become insanely easy to read understanding this. 

What is your agenda? Money? I know your values and how to avoid your issues to maintain my peace. Do you value your relationships? Great, then it shouldn't involve everyone else around you, it is your value. You sacrifice yourself for what you value. If you want to sacrifice yourself for another person, it is totally your freewill. Just as it is my freewill to sacrifice you for my peace. If you aren't seeking good, betterment or peace, I don't want to participate. That is my freewill in action. I internally  began to question how I had betrayed myself and my value of peace. 

Every time I pick up my phone it is chaos. Chaos in the skies, chaos in politics, chaos in nature, it is everything but peaceful. I don't want to engage with this amount of chaos, it isn't worth my peace. I feel guilty, so I engage. I am immediately slapped in the face with how I feel as if I betrayed myself, my value of peace out of guilt. I was reminded that the freewill of others allows them to sacrifice themselves for any dysfunction they are addicted to. How do I navigate my values among the sea of other's values? My inner voice whispers to me, "You've been ahead of the game for a while now, trust yourself, value yourself."