F00L

 A few days ago, while moving my rock collection around, a card fell out. It was one of my mother's old playing cards. It was the Joker. I thought back on all the symbols I have reflecting the Joker. I started thinking about cards, divination and the things I really had kept at arm's length due to fear. I just seem to "come out" no matter what role I play. Last night we had a Marvel Movie Night. I wanted to see archetypal figures in a new light, as a new collective. I wanted to understand them through history. 

I've possessed a copy of Thoth's Emerald Tablets for well over a decade. I did not realize that The Kybalion, along with all the other texts I was familiar with, were considered Occult. My questioning of where these beliefs came from has caused me wonderment and a constant seeking. It has taken a great deal to move into the current space I am in and not squander the time. The amount of information I now have access to, has me mesmerized. I go on an expedition every day. My latest cave of discovery has involved the Tarot. 

I've been sewing a meditation rug of sorts. I want to create a space to sit and connect, so I need to disconnect. Sitting at my desk, I struggle to not engage with projects. Then I wander around trying to clean and become overwhelmed. Recognizing this wasn't productive, I have started trying to moving that stress energy into action and clean. I started inventorying what projects were surrounding me that were taking up mental energy. I started looking at aspects of myself, scattered all around. Rock collection, crystal and bead collections, books, fabrics, so many interests. And then there are my sacred boxes. 

When I started researching for myself about the Tarot, I was grateful I had my own deck. However, it is not based on the original symbolism, it is an artful interpretation. My deck is an expression that I didn't fully know in depth. Reading varying accounts of ancient translations, one will come to the obvious conclusion that ideas were passed and distorted. Vague truths that are obscured and interpreted through another's experience. I through out all assumptions and started to research through new eyes. What do we actually even know about the Tarot?

I studied Gnostic text not fully understanding it in my youth. Much like all the books and all the people. I didn't realize those concepts stayed with me, weaving the fabric of time all around me. So much goes into making fabric, it is truly an art. I can easily go out now and choose fabrics with varying prints and textures. The concepts of layering heavily influenced my expressions in art. I marvel at the changes in my lifetime. I want to honor this space with reverence. I want to fully engage in this experience and this is when I inventoried my tools and questioned my understanding of how to even use them. 

So when does the Tarot first show up in current history period? The history points to Italy, and Gypsies carrying with them ancient knowledge. This knowledge came from Egypt.  This was then correlated to the Book of Thoth, not the Emerald Tablets, but a book of experiences and lessons. This information is traced back to the Essenes and knowledge they carried on. It is fascinating that there is a very distinct separation of "The Great Flood" separating time. We completely lost the point of the story that this is a cycle, the floods come again, let generations know. Fast forward to people arguing over details that loose the main point: there is a cataclysm that happens, we loose everything and have to rebuild. 

I imagine ancient scholars, in search of knowledge found it extremely difficult. Traveling to great libraries, having to choose what to look at, relying on yourself to record the information accurately. Traveling home, treacherous journeys, while trying to process all the information you just hurriedly had to pour over. Then, more questions arise. Today, I search Google. I am able to pull scanned copies and PDFs of information not easily accessed. Not to mention, zooming in on a map of the world, the stars, and asking any question and getting tons of data I couldn't possibly absorb to sift through and think about. 

Yesterday, I sat and read Pliny's Encyclopedia of History, how bizarre it was. These people were coming in from the last deluge, trying to record history and info, the best they could. And rely on others to accurately interpret their words. At least with text there is something to debate about. That is why the Flood "myth" is so interesting. Over 40 cultures around the world have this myth, why? Because there was a flood. We have evidence of cycles of it. What we are taught as myth has some kind of experience of expression propelling it. When the experience becomes a collective, we accept that as our reality of terms and understanding. The collective then expresses as the archetype of that experience. 

Joseph Campbell researched this process and dedicated his life to documenting and revealing "The Hero's Journey." This seems to be another awareness that is all around us, but we aren't pulling up evidence like we are with past cataclysms.  I thought that until information started to dovetail and connect. The Major Arcana coincide with Archetypes. The difference of opinion of where the Fool lands in the lineup has a lot of debate. While moving my rock collection, the Joker (Fool) card fell to the floor. There are no other cards left of this deck. I am not even sure why it was with my rocks, but there it was. 

Manly P. Hall has been someone I have studied over my life. I did not realize his perceived history or connections to Gnosticism. I understood him of someone of great intellect and trust his research. I have his Secret Teachings of All Ages I refer to often. His insight and research into the Tarot brought me back around to wanting to understand them even more deeply. I printed the most symbolic of the decks, the one he analyzed, and started my research to deeper understanding. I didn't realize the 22 Major Arcana were considered The Book of Thoth and were designed to convey in images aspects of self and the hero's journey. I begin again, as The Fool, "a divine spark in a motley costume," as Hall refers to it.