Three Part Series

 I've always known something inside me, and outside "this" was much, much greater. Had I not recognized this aspect of myself, I question my resilience through all my personal adversity. Later I would begin to explore this idea in terminology found within Psychology. Nature versus Nurture, coping mechanisms, physically and spiritually, to come back to this same awareness I am waking up to now. I am much more than this. 

My love for archaeology, geology and earth phenomenon has always been on my personal forefront. It was my agenda. It has been a deeply, innate LOVE. My connection to this earth. My mother was dictating my spirit, this world was dictating my body, but me, that was my free space, thinking about what I wanted. That innate selfishness regarding this aspect of myself would always over completely giving over to one or the other of those outside influences. I saw three parts of me from the beginning. Leaning way into one area brought me a lot of suffering. I have spent many decades balancing between these three aspects. It's with these three aspects that I have always viewed myself, and is my baseline for my mapping. Body, Mind, Spirit Pyramid. 

I am on week 2 of dissecting these three aspects in my life: Physical, Mental and Spiritual. Each has its own File Folder that needed to be explored. Each aspect was studied and recorded. I had psychiatric exams and physical exams. This has taken well over two years to even sort through these two folders to get some sort of organization system within them. The Spiritual kept going on the back burner. I was on a data gathering mission. Another year of intense internal reflection to begin to recognize the relationship between the Mind and Body was broken, along with the Spirit and Mind/Body in many ways. 

While trying to organize these three aspects and integrate them into what I perceived as "my experience" I needed a way to view myself through an alternate viewpoint. How could I objectively view myself? I would create an AI cartoon character to represent me in my search. This created a two and three dimensional aspect to viewing myself, but what of this next layer? 

I envision me, as I am now, sitting on my computer, creating a digitized version of myself so that I may observe my self objectively, through a varied lens. As I found on my mother's notecard, "I am determined to see things differently." This AI "me" is on a mission. She has amnesia and is asking the Ship she is in, who she is. What would the data would reflect? These became my folders. What data is reflected within these folders? Going through this folders alone has been a battle. Yes, battle. It has in no way been all Love and Light, it has taken work to wake up this concept. 

My docked "ship" has become my "homebase" for data gathering for each of the THREE Folders/Aspects.  This week I have set aside time for exploration and time for ship maintenance. While working on ship maintenance, I am working on my own personal meat suit, dreaming. There is the next layer I need to organize. I have been working on this layer for a bit to reconcile these three into my even higher "dream" state. What was that? That has been my current data collecting mission.