The Healing
I beat myself up for watching television. I typically only allow myself to watch it in the evening after the day is done and I feel as if I have made some progress. It feels unhealthy, like binging on junk food. I was excited today for Graham Hancock's new series on the Ancient Apocalypse. My strong interest in this came early from numerous nightmares of the end of days throughout my life. I have dreamt many times over in different times of witnessing the last days. I read recently that we have a collective trauma stored in our DNA from ancestors witnessing this. I watched for three chapters when the guilt of not getting things done set in. I forced myself to get something done that has been weighing on me. Dealing with my finances and not cleaning up things after Mike died has been a lingering worry. It has caused me not to even deal with financial aspects. Today I worked on cleaning up some of those things, then quickly became overwhelmed. I needed to do something more, somethi