Awake in the Chaos
Reflections on Dreams, Evil, and the Mission for Good I tossed and turned all night with anxiety. Which wasn't easy because I had several cats laying on me. I kept waking up saying "Oh you fuckers." In my dream I was trying to get ready for my day, but chaos was all around me. Clothes, piles of junk, people laying around. When I tried to take a shower in my dream, nothing was working. I kept trying to think positive in my dream and push through, not give into the chaotic mess around me, not engage. The more I tried to not engage in my dream, the more chaos pushed against me. I would wake up, think about a few things and fall back into the chaos. When I would wake I would think about how deep the perversity has gotten within my life. I have long stopped listening to any new music, if you could call it that. The mental illness in the music, in movies, online, in products has been too much for me for a while now. I listen to instrumental classic Christmas music at this poi
